What do structured finance bankers do now?
Other than coming cap in hand to structured products bankers and inquiring after employment opportunities, what do structured finance professionals - formerly the doyens of the sophisticated end of the finance markets - do now that they have lost most of their market?
After exhaustive investigation, we believe we have found the answer. They write songs - not all of them, but enough of them for there to be a selection available to the banking public. While we are not yet at the point of Starz in their Eyes we are hopeful that thsi may be the first of many entries. Read on...
CDO Fantasy - to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody
Is this the real price?
Is this just fantasy?
Financial landslide
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
And look at your buys and see.
I’m now a poor boy
High-yielding casualty
Because I bought it high, watched it blow
Rating high, value low
Any way the Fed goes
Doesn’t really matter to me, to me
Mama – just killed my fund
Quoted CDO’s instead
Pulled the trigger, now it’s dead
Mama – I had just begun
These CDO’s have blown it all away
Mama – oooh
I still wanna buy
I sometimes wish I’d never left Goldman at all.
I see a little silhouette of a Fed
Bernanke! Bernanke! Can you save the whole market?
Monolines and munis – very very frightening me!
Super senior, super senior
Super senior CDO – magnifico
I’m long of subprime, nobody loves me
He’s long of subprime CDO fantasy
Spare the margin call you monstrous PB!
Easy come easy go, will you let me go?
Peloton! No – we will not let you go – let him go
Peloton! We will not let you go – let him go
Peloton! We will not let you go – let me go
Will not let you go – let me go (never)
Never let you go – let me go
Never let me go – ooo
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, -
Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go
S&P had the devil put aside for me
For me, for me, for me
So you think you can fund me and spit in my eye?
And then margin call me and leave me to die
Oh PB – can’t do this to me PB
Just gotta get out – just gotta get right outta here
Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
No price really matters
No liquidity
Nothing really matters – no price really matters to me
Any way the Fed goes.....
