With respects to the creativity of Tim Price, a portfolio manager based in London, we have been alerted to the first signs of Christmas. In true hearty fashion, the alert comes in the form of a song that you will all be familiar with...

The Twelve Days of Crisis

On the first day of Crisis the markets sold to me
A sub-prime bankruptcy.

On the second day of Crisis the markets sold to me
Two structured notes
and a sub-prime bankruptcy.

On the third day of Crisis the markets sold to me
Three French funds
Two structured notes
and a sub-prime bankruptcy.

On the fourth day of Crisis the markets sold to me
Foreclosure loans
Three French funds
Two structured notes
and a sub-prime bankruptcy.

On the fifth day of Crisis the markets sold to me
$500 gold calls
Foreclosure loans
Three French funds
Two structured notes
and a sub-prime bankruptcy.

On the sixth day of Crisis the markets sold to me
Six fleeced investors
$500 gold calls
Foreclosure loans
Three French funds
Two structured notes
and a sub-prime bankruptcy.

On the seventh day of Crisis the markets sold to me
Seven ‘bonds’ accruing
Six fleeced investors
$500 gold calls
Foreclosure loans
Three French funds
Two structured notes
and a sub-prime bankruptcy.

On the eighth day of Crisis the markets sold to me
Eight salesmen bilking
Seven ‘bonds’ accruing
Six fleeced investors
$500 gold calls
Foreclosure loans
Three French funds
Two structured notes
and a sub-prime bankruptcy.

On the ninth day of Crisis the markets sold to me
LBO refinancing
Eight salesmen bilking
Seven ‘bonds’ accruing
Six fleeced investors
$500 gold calls
Foreclosure loans
Three French funds
Two structured notes
and a sub-prime bankruptcy.

On the tenth day of Crisis the markets sold to me
Hedge fund Boards all leaving
LBO refinancing
Eight salesmen bilking
Seven ‘bonds’ accruing
Six fleeced investors
$500 gold calls
Foreclosure loans
Three French funds
Two structured notes
and a sub-prime bankruptcy.

On the eleventh day of Crisis the markets sold to me
Over-hyped underwritings
Hedge fund Boards all leaving
LBO refinancing
Eight salesmen bilking
Seven ‘bonds’ accruing
Six fleeced investors
$500 gold calls
Foreclosure loans
Three French funds
Two structured notes
and a sub-prime bankruptcy.

On the twelfth day of Crisis the markets sold to me
Central banks succumbing
Over-hyped underwritings
Hedge fund Boards all leaving
LBO refinancing
Eight salesmen bilking
Seven ‘bonds’ accruing
Six fleeced investors
$500 gold calls
Foreclosure loans
Three French funds
Two structured notes
and a sub-prime bankruptcy.